March 13, 2012

Wisdom (not mine)

John and I have been generally frustrated in the past couple of months by a couple of trends that the world seems to be having. At least we're finding them in abundance here. Enter the Ensign!
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Trend #1: Parents never letting their children grow up.
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There are so many examples of this one that John and I are encountering, but the best examples come from John: a classmate who can't understand why everyone complains about tuition...she has it all figured out to get out of grad school debt free. Her plan? Well, my parents are paying for my housing and $25,000 a year for tuition. She and some of her classmates get to drive home in $65,000 cars paid for daddy...Yep life is rough... Second, the couple who are moving into the home that their parents paid for. Third, the student who takes a spring break overdrawing their account that their parent just fills up for them again.
I know there are parent's who genuinely help their children and the kids genuinely either are working for their life to become better or really do need the help. My parents and in-laws are very kind in their help with me and John. But it's the excessive pampering that leads to expectation that becomes dangerous.
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http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/03/helping-without-hovering?lang=eng
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Start 'em young. I love these simple principles that encourage independence and work. Too many people expect something for nothing. When frustrated about this, I turned to this Ensign article by chance and just smiled at the universal ideals that come with our gospel that just apply to a better life no matter who you are or what you believe.
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Trend #2: Living beyond your means
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This is definitely something I can always improve on, but there always needs to be a discernment between wants and needs. I know that everyone's wants and needs are different, and I do not post to brag, but, for example, I have cut my own and John's hair since the day we were married. I would love to go to a salon and get the full treatment, but until we're through grad school, it isn't going to happen anytime soon. We also don't have any sort of television and have been sharing one car. I know soooo many friends and family who make similar or comparable sacrifices. Living paycheck to paycheck is a reality for a lot of families but an unnecessary one for a lot of them. Financial crisis doesn't come when you can't afford a trip to Hawaii, or shouldn't come when you went to Hawaii when you couldn't afford it. Today I remembered a talk from Elder Hales in conference that has stuck with me all day long. The quote, which has been used in many contexts, is this: I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.”
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http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/becoming-provident-providers-temporally-and-spiritually?lang=eng&query=provident+living+%28name%3a%22Robert+D.+Hales%22%29
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I feel like this is a rant of a post, and I am reminded by these, the more I can do to better my life, I guess mostly in financial ways. It takes work and discipline, both things I am not even close to being good enough at. I am grateful however, that these are not foreign things to me. I am grateful for the ethics I was taught and that I'm not a 35 year old expecting my life to happen for me.

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